earliest_day = 5; $this->latest_day = 20; } protected function get_all_posts() { // very quickly work out if we are sorting by cat or tag $cat = ''; if ($_POST['incategory'] != '') { $cat = '&cat=' . (int)$_POST['incategory']; } $tag = ''; if ($_POST['tagid'] != '') { $tag = "&tag_id=" . (int) $_POST['tagid']; } $all_posts = array(); $all_query = new WP_Query('showposts=' . $this->abs_max_posts . $cat . $tag); while($all_query->have_posts()) { $all_query->the_post(); $orig_date = get_the_date("Y-m-d H:i:s"); $i++; $all_posts[get_the_ID()] = array ( "link" => get_permalink(), "title" => the_title('','',false), "orig_date" => $orig_date, ); } return $all_posts; } public function redate_posts() { if (isset($_POST['latest_day']) && is_numeric($_POST['latest_day'])) { $this->latest_day = (int) $_POST['latest_day']; } if (isset($_POST['earliest_day']) && is_numeric($_POST['earliest_day'])) { $this->earliest_day = (int) $_POST['earliest_day']; } if ($this->earliest_day == 0 && $this->latest_day == 0) { echo "

Please go back - you cannot set latest and earliest at 0

"; return; } if ($this->earliest_day < 0 || $this->latest_day < 0 ) { echo "

Please go back - you cannot either value as lower than 0

"; return; } if ($_POST['tagid'] !='' && $_POST['incategory'] != '') { echo "

Please go back - you cannot set both slug and category!

"; return; } $total_diff_in_days = $this->latest_day + $this->earliest_day; echo "

Reordering

"; echo "

The earliest day is {$this->earliest_day} days ago. The latest day is {$this->latest_day} days in the future

"; $allposts = $this->get_all_posts(); if (count($allposts) > 0) { $doneDays = array(); echo ""; foreach($allposts as $id => $postData) { $link = $postData['link']; $title = $postData['title']; $random_days_behind = rand(0,$total_diff_in_days); $random_days_behind = (int) $random_days_behind; $day_diff = $random_days_behind - ($this->earliest_day ); if ($day_diff > 0) { $plus_minus = '+'; } else { $day_diff = abs($day_diff); // get positive $plus_minus = '-'; } $doneDays[str_replace("+","",$plus_minus) . $day_diff]++; $strtotimestring = $plus_minus . $day_diff . ' days'; $date_time = (strtotime($strtotimestring)); // H:i:s // get the year/mo/day from strtotime(- xx days) $newDate = date('Y-m-d', $date_time); // randomly select a hh:mm:ss to post $newDate.= " " . str_pad( rand(0,23) , 2, '0', STR_PAD_LEFT) . ":" . str_pad( rand(0,59) , 2, '0', STR_PAD_LEFT) . ":". str_pad( rand(0,59) , 2, '0', STR_PAD_LEFT) ; $updateArray = array( 'ID' => $id, 'post_date' => $newDate, 'post_date_gmt' => $newDate, 'edit_date' => true, ); $result = wp_update_post($updateArray); echo ""; } echo "
$id $link $title Original date: {$postData['orig_date']} Changed date to : $newDate
"; echo "

Counter:

"; ksort($doneDays); echo "

This shows the frequency of each post being posted x days ago/in future. It doesn't show every single day - only the ones with at least one post

"; //change for for() to show all days? might be handy echo ""; foreach($doneDays as $id => $val) { if ($id > 0) { $id = "+" . $id; } echo ""; } echo "
+/- daysNumber of posts
$id days$val posts
"; } else { echo "

Error - Could not find any posts to reorder!

"; } } protected function get_all_cats_options() { $args = array( 'type' => 'post', 'child_of' => 0, 'parent' => '', 'orderby' => 'name', 'order' => 'ASC', 'hide_empty' => 1, 'hierarchical' => 1, 'exclude' => '', 'include' => '', 'number' => '', 'taxonomy' => 'category', 'pad_counts' => true ); $categories = get_categories( $args ); $returnhtml = ''; foreach($categories as $cat) { $id = $cat->cat_ID; $name = $cat->name; $c = $cat->category_count; $returnhtml .= ""; } return $returnhtml; } protected function get_all_tags_options() { $tags = get_tags(); $returnhtml = ''; if ($tags) { foreach ($tags as $tag) { $id = $tag->term_id; $name = $tag->name; $c = $tag->count; $returnhtml .= ""; } } else { $returnhtml = ""; } return $returnhtml; } public function show_options() { ?>

Ash's Random Post Dater

Use this form to set ALL posts in the selected category to a random date between these two values.

This will update the post dates on ALL posts within the selected category/tag (or ALL posts in your wordpress blog if both are set to default). Please do not use if you do not want to reset ALL post dates. I do not recommend using this on a site with lots of live posts - especially if you use a permalink structure that includes the date in the url. I use it on new sites (add all content, then set all posts to random date in the past). Use at your own risk! You will lose the current post date time (it only changes the date posted - nothing else)

Only use one of the following two. Leave both at their defaults ("ALL CATEGORIES"/"ALL TAGS") to reorder ALL posts

Reorder post dates in this category:


(leave on "ALL CATEGORIES" if you don't want to reorder all within a certain category) 		OR

Reorder post dates with this tag slug (use the tag slug, not the tag):


(leave on "ALL TAGS" if you don't want to reorder all within a certain category)

Earliest Day - how many days back do you want the maximum one?

(put at 0 to put all posts in future)

Latest Day - Leave at 0 to make sure all posts are BACK dated.

(leave 0 to put all posts in past)

For example if you wanted your posts randomly set to a date in the next 30 days set the latest day as 30, the earliest day at 0

If you wanted your posts randomly set to a day in the previous 180 days then set the latest day as 0 and the earliest day as 180.

It randomly sets each post - the posts are not spaced out at exact intervals. It will readjust ALL your posts. Please make sure that you want ALL your posts to be randomised.

(Clicking this will randomly reorder all posts)
redate_posts(); } else { $random_post_dater->show_options(); } }  Vtipy o manželovi
  • Kategorie: Vtipy

Vtipy o manželovi

Manžel manželky:
- Poslouchej ... tohle ... zítra bude svatba mého nejlepšího přítele s touto ... jako ona ... Julia Roberts...
- Jaký další přítel? Mohl byste mi to říct dříve? Co budu nosit? Nemám nic na sebe! A dárek! Kde budeme hledat dárek?
- Jste blázen! Tento film je - „Svatba mého nejlepšího přítele.“ Co jsi temný, nekultivovaný...
- V kultuře bys měl být lepší. Když jsem vám naposledy řekl, že půjdeme k jezeru Swan, ten, kdo narazil na rybářské pruty?

Bunny se zajícem zajíc.
- Jaký je důvod?
- Šikmá!
- A před svatbou jste to neviděli?
- Viděl jsem, ale pak jsem si myslel, že si buduje oči!

Ženich se ptá mladšího bratra své nevěsty: - A často nás špehuješ v klíčové dírce? - Pouze když se tam táta a máma nedívají.

Manžel a manželka sedí v kuchyni po náročném dni v práci. Manželka si povzdechne:
- Oh, ještě zítra musím vařit polévku.
- Co je to pro tebe, - manžel je smutný, - ale zítra to musím sníst!

Pane, prosím, dej mi:
Moudrost - rozumět mému muži,
Láska - odpustit mu,
Trpělivost - vzít všechny jeho nálady,
Neboť pokud mi dáte sílu - ZABUDEM HIM...

Manžel chodí s přáteli. Aby ho vrátil domů brzy, jeho žena pošle SMS zprávu: „Pojď rychle, chci tě!“ Uplyne hodinová doba, není tam žádný manžel, ani odpověď.
Manželka pošle druhou zprávu: "No, nebojte se, jděte domů, už tě nechci!"

- Jste šťastní v rodinném životě?
- Ach jo! Milujeme se navzájem tolik, že už třikrát
opožděný rozvod.

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